A Guide to “RealtorSpeak”

We’ve all seen them. And if we REALTORS are honest, we have written some of them as well. I’m talking about the real estate cliche’s that are seemingly in every ad, sign, and description of homes for sale. Lest you be confused, I have decided to take some of the mystery out of the most commonly used phrases and tell you what they really mean in plain English. Please understand that I am not in any way suggesting that Realtors are prone to exaggeration. It’s just that sometimes our definition of a word or phrase is somewhat different from what a consumer’s definition would be. Here are some examples.

“I’m Gorgeous Inside” = I know the house isn’t that great on the outside, and neither is the inside, but I have to put something on the sign for crying out loud. Seems as good a choice as any.

“Hurry, won’t last!” = There is nothing about this house that will generate any excitement or enthusiasm on the part of buyers, so maybe if I put this phrase in there, a buyer will feel some sense of urgency to see it.

“Honey Stop the Car!” = This house is really boring, and the only way to get you to notice it is to physically pull the car over and look at it.

“Bring Your Paintbrush” = House has major issues, and probably has thousands in termite and other damage

“Contractor’s Special!” = House basically needs to be rebuilt from the ground up.

“Motivated Sellers” = Sellers are really motivated to sell at that price. Their motivation, however, dissipates quickly as your offering price drops.

“Seller says make an offer” = House is overpriced, and rather than reduce the price like most smart sellers, seller wants to hedge his bet in case someone with more money than brains wants to pay him too much for the house. And this is smart, because there are so many of those buyers out there.

“Updated Kitchen” = The seller replaced the leaky faucet with a new one, or has painted the cabinets, but has otherwise not touched the kitchen in 20 years.

“Plenty of Room to Expand” = This house is really small, and the only way to make it workable is to add on to it

“Great Freeway Access!” = This house likely has major freeway noise because it is close to or backs up to the freeway. I don’t think that being able to hop your back fence and land in the slow lane is the kind of freeway access most buyers are looking for.

“Low Maintenance Yard” = There is nothing alive in the yard to maintain. Basically cement/deck and dirt.

“Gorgeous Spa “as is” = Old, leaky spa that is not worth fixing so don’t even ask

“Private, woodsy back yard” = Overgrown and probably hasn’t been trimmed in years

“cozy” = small, not spacious in any way

When it comes to written descriptions of the house, such as on Realtor.com or the MLS, you can also learn a lot about the house before you even see it. Realtors are limited to 5 or 6 lines of text, so the choice of words used by the agent tells you everything. If there are any upgrades or remodeling, they will be prominently mentioned. Let’s take 2 fictitious examples, and I will translate for you.

“Remodeled from top to bottom. New gourmet cherry & granite kitchen, professional stainless gas range & hood, hardwood floors throughout, luxurious master suite with walk-in shower, jacuzzi tub, travertine floors, and fireplace. All new hardwood interior doors, skylights, and designer carpeting. Professionally landscaped 3/4 acre lot, etc etc etc”

This is obviously a very nice house. Since space is limited, the agent is having a hard time fitting all of the upgrades to the home in the space allotted. High probability that this home is drop dead gorgeous.

Now let’s look at another example:

“Hurry! This one won’t last! Prime neighborhood. Your buyers will love this great home! Excellent floor plan, great for entertaining, nice kitchen with eating area, big family room, formal living room, roof replaced in 1985, lovely low maintenance yard, close to schools & shopping, cabinets in garage installed with over-sized screws, etc etc etc”

This house probably hasn’t been touched in 30 years. Agent is reaching for things to put into the description. You see lots of general descriptive terms, with no specific mention on upgrades because there probably are none.

I hope this helps take some of the mystery out of the real estate terms you see. Like everything in life, it is best to take these descriptions with a grain of salt (speaking of cliche’s).